XXI. How to Overcome Bad Habits
Treat yourself with a little humor and lesser concern and you’ll win.
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“Whenever you get an impression of some pleasure, as with any impression, guard yourself from being carried away by it, let it await your action, give yourself a pause. After that, bring to mind both times, first when you have enjoyed the pleasure and later when you will regret it and hate yourself. Then compare to those the joy and satisfaction you’d feel for abstaining altogether. However, if a seemingly appropriate time arises to act on it, don’t be overcome by its comfort, pleasantness, and allure —but against all of this, how much better the consciousness of conquering it.” — Epictetus
Sometimes willpower doesn't work to beat bad habits.
It can be like swimming against a turbulent stream, which continually chips at our self-esteem like the rocks at the banks.
Soon, thinking ourselves high, mighty, and perfect, we hide our vile actions from others and resent ourselves because of how ashamed and powerless we feel when we give in to temptation.
That's why the first step in overcoming these bad habits is to accept how vulnerable we sometimes are.
Then we ought to desire to overcome our little addiction because it makes us lose our self-respect, hurts others, our relationships, or comes with terrible consequences down the line.
"Never regard something as doing you good if it makes you betray a trust, or lose your sense of shame [self-respect], or makes you show hatred, suspicion, ill will, or hypocrisy." — Marcus Aurelius
Next we must use our imagination to walk ourselves through indulging the bad habit, especially in the times we have no urge for it.
It’s wise to make this exercise as graphic as possible and do it several times a day.
Holding back suppresses the impulse, making it stronger and darker to the point we can't control it. We don’t want that happening.
We might even add some humor so it can become obscene and later, so tasteless that we're repulsed by its thought.
The permissiveness and lack of secrecy diminish the bad habit’s allure and therefore the thrill we'd get from it, while restricting ourselves makes us more likely to fail.
Excess breeds contempt.
Tell yourself to get more pissed whenever you're triggered and angry — so you can be calmer.
Tell yourself to diarrhea, sweat, and stammer as much as possible before your speech, presentation, or social event — so you can be meticulous in your delivery and interactions.
Tell yourself to eat as much junk food as possible, to make yourself throw up to have room for more — so you can eat healthier foods.
Tell yourself to watch as much porn as possible, to masturbate any chance you get — so the stimulus can lose its novelty and you can increase the connection and intimacy with your partner.
Tell yourself to open Instagram, X, or TikTok everywhere, as soon as you wake up, when hanging out with your friends, when bonding with your family — so it can lose its bewitchment and you can be much more involved and present in your life.
Do that with any bad habit. But,
"First say to yourself what you would be." — Epictetus
We must desire to free ourselves from the addiction and aim for nobility, a good life.
We must still demand the best for ourselves.
Overindulge your imagination for bad habits with high stakes. Or perform risk-free bad habits as many times as possible so they can become boring.
Treat yourself with a little humor and lesser concern and you’ll win.
But seek professional help if you're struggling with life-threatening addictions.
See you tomorrow. xo
A.V