Seneca on Love and Friendship
Natural promptings, and not his own selfish needs.
“A want implies a necessity, and nothing is necessary to the wise man.” — Seneca. You can only seek friendship from a place of spiritual abundance. From a relaxed state of the soul. From being authentic, weird, yourself. Your best self. Not desperation.
“For what purpose, then, do I make a man my friend? In order to have someone for whom I may die, whom I may follow into exile, against whose death I may stake my own life, and pay the pledge, too.” — Seneca
“The wise man, I say, self-sufficient though he be, nevertheless desires friends if only for the purpose of practising friendship, in order that his noble qualities may not lie dormant.” — Seneca
“If you ask how one can make oneself a friend quickly, I will tell you, provided we are agreed that I may pay my debt at once and square the account, so far as this letter is concerned. Hecato, says: "I can show you a philtre, compounded without drugs, herbs, or any witch's incantation: 'If you would be loved, love.'" — Seneca
“He [the wise man] need never lack friends, for it lies in his own control how soon he shall make good a loss. Just as Phidias, if he lose a statue, can straightway carve another, even so our master in the art of making friendships can fill the place of a friend he has lost.” — Seneca
“Pure love, careless of all other things, kindles the soul with desire for the beautiful object, not without the hope of a return of the affection.” — Seneca
“One who seeks friendship for favourable occasions, strips it of all its nobility.” — Seneca
"We are now discussing the question whether friendship is to be cultivated for its own sake." On the contrary, nothing more urgently requires demonstration; for if friendship is to be sought for its own sake, he may seek it who is self-sufficient. "How, then," you ask, "does he seek it?" Precisely as he seeks an object of great beauty, not attracted to it by desire for gain, nor yet frightened by the instability of Fortune.” — Seneca
“He [the wise man] craves as many friends as possible, not, however, that he may live happily; for he will live happily even without friends. The Supreme Good calls for no practical aids from outside; it is developed at home, and arises entirely within itself. If the good seeks any portion of itself from without, it begins to be subject to the play of Fortune.” — Seneca
“As long as he is allowed to order his affairs according to his judgment, he is self-sufficient — and marries a wife; he is self-sufficient — and brings up children; he is self-sufficient — and yet could not live if he had to live without the society of man. Natural promptings, and not his own selfish needs, draw him into Friendships.” — Seneca
“No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it.” — Seneca
“Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship, but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul. Speak as boldly with him as with yourself… Regard him as loyal, and you will make him loyal.” — Seneca
“Nothing, however, delights the mind as much as loving and loyal friendship.” — Seneca