VII. Let People Be
These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.
"You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone." — Marcus Aurelius
You wish you could change people. Perhaps they could be a little more kind. A bit more ambitious. Healthier.
But you end up disappointed whenever they fail to follow through with the resolutions and promises they've pledged.
You might even get angry at them.
Sometimes you close yourself off for sanity's sake. They don't deserve your time and attention.
You give up on them, yet it hurts you knowing how much you care.
But you're looking at this all wrong. You don’t have to get angry at a person.
People need support. Not to be told what to do — because they'll rebel.
Even children, as tiny as they are, want to feel in control of their lives.
That’s why it’s imprudent to bombard people with instructions on what to do, how to live better.
Adapt.
Wisdom is cutting people some slack, accepting and working with them as they are.
It’s knowing not everyone will measure up to your standards and that’s alright. You’ll get more from life by minding your business, tending to your garden.
However, there are some things you can do to increase the probability for change.
You can be an example they look up to. Don’t give unsolicited advice. And be as indirect as possible when people come to you for guidance, through story-telling, to influence them.
Some individuals can still be stubborn despite the effort you’ve expended to mentor them.
But you’ll be wise to know your limits so you can keep your peace, joy and focus on living as best as you can.
So whenever you’re frustrated about people, you’ll do well to heed what Marcus Aurelius said,
“That's their problem. Their character and actions are not mine."
It’s their life and conscience to deal with at the end of the day.
See you tomorrow. xo
A.V