XXV. Free Yourself from the Pressure

Pressure is good. But it must come from within us, from a voluntary desire to take responsibility and do what needs to be done because it’s the prudent strategic move.

Oct 15, 2024

Listen to a summary of today’s and this previous entry (I) on the podcast below. But read to get the best experience & extract the most value from the meditation.

1×

0:00

-11:13

wolf standing on rolled hays — Photo by Nancy Stapler on Unsplash

“You have to care either for your mind or for material things; specialize in what is within you or without — which is to say, you have to stick to the role of philosopher or layman.” — Epictetus

People's expectations make an unpalatable chore out of what would have been enjoyable.

That’s why it’s wise to have the intention to place ourselves in situations where we do something because our essence gravitates toward it.

Sure, pressure is good. It helps us accomplish a lot in a short while.

But it must come from within us, from a voluntary desire to take responsibility and do what needs to be done because it’s the prudent strategic move.

From our high standards.

We should expect rejection and ridicule when we follow this path but it's better than betraying ourselves, our craft, being a slave — doing things in a lax, forced and inauthentic manner causing us to lose in the long-term.

“We are at the mercy of whoever wields authority over the things we either desire or detest. If you would be free, then, do not wish to have, or avoid, things that other people control, because then you must serve as their slave.” — Epictetus

It’s difficult to move with a pure rhythm when we have to resist the temptation of lucrative opportunities, lots of money, luxuries, thrills.

But we must pay our taxes.

“Nothing will ever befall me that I will receive with gloom or a bad disposition, I will pay my taxes gladly. Now, all the things which cause complaint or dread are like the taxes of life — things from which, my dear Lucilius, you should never hope for exemption or seek escape.” — Seneca

Besides, it’s good to know that, as Robert Greene, the acclaimed author of The 48 Laws of Power said,

What is offered for free is dangerous - it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.

He continues,

What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price — there is no cutting corners with excellence.

This reminds me of a short seminal story from one of Aesop’s famous fables named The Wolf & the House Dog which goes like this…

There was once a Wolf who got very little to eat because the Dogs of the village were so wide awake and watchful. He was really nothing but skin and bones, and it made him very downhearted to think of it.
One night this Wolf happened to fall in with a fine fat House Dog who had wandered a little too far from home. The Wolf would gladly have eaten him then and there, but the House Dog looked strong enough to leave his marks should he try it. So the Wolf spoke very humbly to the Dog, complimenting him on his fine appearance.
"You can be as well-fed as I am if you want to," replied the Dog. "Leave the woods; there you live miserably. Why, you have to fight hard for every bite you get. Follow my example and you will get along beautifully."
"What must I do?" asked the Wolf.
"Hardly anything," answered the House Dog. "Chase people who carry canes, bark at beggars, and fawn on the people of the house. In return you will get tidbits of every kind, chicken bones, choice bits of meat, sugar, cake, and much more beside, not to speak of kind words and caresses."
The Wolf had such a beautiful vision of his coming happiness that he almost wept. But just then he noticed that the hair on the Dog's neck was worn and the skin was chafed.
"What is that on your neck?"
"Nothing at all," replied the Dog.
"What! nothing!"
"Oh, just a trifle!"
"But please tell me."
"Perhaps you see the mark of the collar to which my chain is fastened."
"What! A chain!" cried the Wolf. "Don't you go wherever you please?"
"Not always! But what's the difference?" replied the Dog.
"All the difference in the world! I don't care a rap for your feasts and I wouldn't take all the tender young lambs in the world at that price." And away ran the Wolf to the woods.

The reward of liberating ourselves from the pressure is the freedom to do whatever we want and best of all, to just be. To live without dread, anxiety, and disappointments.

We gift people, not to flatter them, be on their good side so we can benefit, or get it back in return, but because we want to express appreciation and we enjoy seeing them happy.

We work and create art, not so we can make big sales, get a promotion, or become number one on a list, but because working makes us feel content when serving, connecting with others, and providing for our families.

We charm friends, not so we can get invited to parties, meet someone we might like or gain popularity, but because it’s human to desire a merry social life.

We study and practice, not so we can seem intelligent, but because competence helps us navigate the world with confidence and improves the worth of our presentation and service to others.

We use our money, not to signal status and prostrate ourselves for respect, but because we want to have memorable human experiences, invest in what we like, and secure high-quality basic needs.

Of course, what we didn’t aim for will still manifest while pursuing our nobler desires, but we can’t give in to those sirens.

Listening to our beautiful muse guarantees we’ll always get what we want and be happy for it.

However, if you still decide to put pressure on yourself, you might want to contemplate Epictetus’ metaphorical words saying,

You were not invited to someone's party, because you wouldn't pay the host the price of admission, namely paying her court and singing her praises. So pay the bill, if you expect to gain by it, and give no further thought to the expense. But if you won't pay the bill and still want the benefits, you are not only greedy but a fool.

So take the money and other nice stuff, if you expect to gain by it, and give no further thought to the acquisition. Or complain about the consequences. But if you won't take the free lunch and still want the benefits, you are not only greedy but a fool.