"Reflect on how many things have happened that you didn't want, and yet they turned out for the best." — Marcus Aurelius
The following is a story about Hercules & the Wagoner as told in Aesop’s fables,
A Farmer was driving his wagon along a miry country road after a heavy rain.
The horses could hardly drag the load through the deep mud, and at last came to a standstill when one of the wheels sank to the hub in a rut.
The farmer climbed down from his seat and stood beside the wagon looking at it but without making the least effort to get it out of the rut.
All he did was to curse his bad luck and call loudly on Hercules to come to his aid.
Then, it is said, Hercules really did appear, saying:
"Put your shoulder to the wheel, man, and urge on your horses.
Do you think you can move the wagon by simply looking at it and whining about it?
Hercules will not help unless you make some effort to help yourself."
And when the farmer put his shoulder to the wheel and urged on the horses, the wagon moved very readily, and soon the Farmer was riding along in great content and with a good lesson learned.
We think it ludicrous when someone tells us that our well-being is our responsibility.
That our anger isn’t because of what someone has done, but how we’ve interpreted their actions.
We can gracefully call them out without bursting in anger if they’ve done or said something foolish.
Only we can take ourselves out of the depression, the brooding, jealousy, fear, the status anxiety by accepting events and interpreting them in a way that challenges us to grow instead of trying to change what is.
“So when we are frustrated, angry or unhappy, never hold anyone except ourselves – that is, our judgements – accountable.” — Epictetus
Sometimes we feel a bittersweet melancholy of how heavy the burden of pulling ourselves out of a rut is.
The power for change lies with us, yet the necessary work to transform us comes at a painful personal sacrifice.
Ugh! Can’t we always be in high spirits and have what we want all the time?
But you’ll be happy to know this fact. Thoughts influence feelings and then our actions. The reverse also works.
Our deeds can pull us out of depression, they can help us feel love instead of resentment, empathy instead of anger.
This happens when we choose to observe the thoughts and feelings we experience while performing the actions in accordance with our nature to orchestrate the feeling we desire to boost the quality of our human experience.
"Even if some obstacle comes on the scene, its appearance is only to be compared to that of clouds which drift in front of the sun without ever defeating its light." — Seneca
It's this beautiful poem by Rainer Maria Rilke saying,
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
What the Stoics meant by acting in accordance with our nature, the light Seneca is talking about, was choosing to adorn every situation with our highest faculties, what differentiates us from the animals — rationality or wisdom, the four virtues: courage, wisdom, justice, and temperance.
We'll feel good as a byproduct of performing these actions, fate permitting.
But we have to do it as an end in itself, not because we want to gain from it. For happiness is like a woman, you court her with your nobility — desperation motivates her to avoid your texts.
Thereby, everything and everyone we encounter in life becomes a chance to practice virtue.
“Whereas a feeble flame might suffocate under a pile of dry sticks, a robust fire consumes everything it touches.
The more objects of any kind heaped on it, the higher it rises, the hotter it burns.” — Marcus Aurelius
Afraid of starting a business?
Practice courage.
Lots of people would benefit from your skills and services.
Earning that fun vacation for your family is also cool.
"The true man is revealed in difficult times.
So when trouble comes, think of yourself as a wrestler whom God, like a trainer, has paired with a tough young buck.
For what purpose? To turn you into Olympic-class material." — Epictetus
"If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labor passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures." — Musonius Rufus
Feel like getting angry and resenting people who have wronged you?
Practice justice, love and compassion, while keeping a safe distance — they don't know what they're doing on a fundamental level.
“What do you expect from people like him?
Certain effects naturally and necessarily flow from certain causes.
To want him to behave otherwise is like asking the sap not to flow in a fig tree.
Besides, what’s the point of fretting about it?
In a moment, you will both be dead, and a moment later, no one will even be able to remember your names.” — Marcus Aurelius
Wondering how to look at a tragic situation? How to benefit from it?
Practice wisdom to differentiate what you're fully responsible for, what's partially up to you, what you have no control over, what's worth valuing, what's nice to have, and the indifferent goods.
“Just as nature takes every obstacle, every impediment, and works around it —turns it to its purposes, incorporates it into itself — so, too, a rational being can turn each setback into raw material and use it to achieve its goal.” — Marcus Aurelius
Try it and see for yourself.
Acting in accordance with nature also means doing what we were born to do, what the author Robert Greene calls our life's task.
This can be painting, doing scientific research, creating music, writing, physics, politics, carpentry, boxing — anything you feel naturally inclined to do in service of others, of making the world a better place.
It's what you can't live without doing.
What you impulsively do for free.
However, we have to first accept that we're worthy of happiness, which isn't as shameful as we were conditioned in childhood, so we don't sabotage our attempts at taking responsibility for ourselves.
We also have to accept that life is as it is and will continue to be so.
But our role in it? That's the choices we make to cultivate fertile ground for happiness, pride, greatness, tranquility.
That's how we become responsible for our wellbeing.
No one can do this work for us.
The feeling you have isn't final.
Just keep going.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Always remember that you can’t change where you were born, the infirmity you were born with, what you feel, and the burden you have to carry, but you can choose to put your shoulder to the wheel, man, and urge on the horses of your fate to Elysium.
Pick yourself in your arms child. You’re worthy of the universe.
Hercules will not help us unless we make some effort to help ourselves.
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This was very deep for me. I’m the farmer, although I do try to help myself first. I try to help myself using external forces. I never try to trust myself and love myself first. I have to claim ownership over my actions and thoughts and feelings. I’m starting the journey to love myself and discover myself for honestly the very first time and acknowledging myself both good and bad is difficult.
Your meditations have been very encouraging as I continue muster the energy and focus my will on the difficult and exhausting work I must do to meet, mitigate, and prevail the simultaneous onslaught of challenges - physical, financial, AND emotional. Thank you!
This was very deep for me. I’m the farmer, although I do try to help myself first. I try to help myself using external forces. I never try to trust myself and love myself first. I have to claim ownership over my actions and thoughts and feelings. I’m starting the journey to love myself and discover myself for honestly the very first time and acknowledging myself both good and bad is difficult.
Your meditations have been very encouraging as I continue muster the energy and focus my will on the difficult and exhausting work I must do to meet, mitigate, and prevail the simultaneous onslaught of challenges - physical, financial, AND emotional. Thank you!